Monday, July 21, 2014

Fixing the wordy wordiness in your wordy papers

Simplifying your Writing 

The decayed tree had to be cut to prepare the backyard for the New Year Party (You want to have a someone or something doing the action)

    The gardener (subject) had to cut the decayed tree to prepare the backyard the New Year Party

Wordiness
Using too many words is probably the most common mistake writers make as they begin to develop their academic voices. To avoid this problem, do not use “filler phrases” or “fluff” to try to stretch your papers to the desired length. Shorten or cut empty words and phrases. If you are in the difficult situation of having to lengthen a paper, either add another point to your thesis (one that you can fully develop) or expound on the points that you already have by adding detail and examples.
WORDY: As far as I’m concerned, because of the fact that a situation of discrimination continues to exist in the field of medicine, women have not yet achieved equality with men.

5 Ways to Simplify Your Writing

Be ruthless
: you can always find more words to chop out, so make sure you edit your work at least once, ideally twice or three times.
Read aloud: if your sentences are long and tortured, you’ll find out when you try and say them.
 Be honest: is this really your best draft, or just the one you’ve done to get it off your to-do list?
Take the ‘mum’ test: if your mum read this, would she understand what it’s about? This is particularly relevant to technical topics – does it sound like a TED talk, or a textbook?
Ask questions: if you don’t understand the content, you need to push your topic expert until you do. Bust their jargon and unpack their robot-speak until you know what every word means, and can translate and explain each one.
Exercise : Eliminating Wordiness Exercise 1
2. Although Bradley Hall is regularly populated by students, close study of the building as a structure is seldom undertaken by them.
Bradley Hall is usually filled with students who do not study the building as a structure.
3. He dropped out of school on account of the fact that it was necessary for him to help support his family.
He dropped out of school to support his family.
4. It is expected that the new schedule will be announced by the bus company within the next few days.
The bus company will probably announce its schedule during the next few days.
5. There are many ways in which a student who is interested in meeting foreign students may come to know one.
Any student who wants to meet foreign students can do so in many ways.
6. It is very unusual to find someone who has never told a deliberate lie on purpose.
Rarely will you find someone who has never told a deliberate lie.
7. Trouble is caused when people disobey rules that have been established for the safety of all.
 Disobeying safety regulations causes trouble.
8. A campus rally was attended by more than a thousand students. Five students were arrested by campus police for disorderly conduct, while several others are charged by campus administrators with organizing a public meeting without being issued a permit to do so.
Five out of more than a thousand students at a campus rally were arrested for disorderly conduct, and several others were charged by campus administrators with organizing a public meeting without a permit.
9. The subjects that are considered most important by students are those that have been shown to be useful to them after graduation.
Students think that the most important subjects are those that will be useful after graduation.
10. In the not too distant future, college freshmen must all become aware of the fact that there is a need for them to make contact with an academic adviser concerning the matter of a major.
 Soon college freshmen must realize that they need to contact their advisors about their choices of majors.
11. In our company there are wide-open opportunities for professional growth with a company that enjoys an enviable record for stability in the dynamic atmosphere of aerospace technology.
Our company provides opportunities for professional growth and stability in the dynamic field of aerospace technology.
12. Some people believe in capital punishment, while other people are against it; there are many opinions on this subject.
There are people who are for and people who are against capital punishment. Note There are is passive voice.


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