Simplifying
your Writing
The
decayed tree had to be cut to prepare the backyard for the New Year Party (You want
to have a someone or something doing the action)
The
gardener (subject) had to cut the decayed tree to prepare the backyard the New
Year Party
Wordiness
Using too many words is probably the most common
mistake writers make as they begin to develop their academic voices. To avoid
this problem, do not use “filler phrases” or “fluff” to try to stretch your
papers to the desired length. Shorten or cut empty words and phrases. If you
are in the difficult situation of having to lengthen a paper, either add another
point to your thesis (one that you can fully develop) or expound on the points
that you already have by adding detail and examples.
WORDY: As far as I’m concerned, because of the fact
that a situation of discrimination continues to exist in the field of medicine,
women have not yet achieved equality with men.
5
Ways to Simplify Your Writing
Be ruthless:
you can always find more words to chop out, so make sure you edit your work at
least once, ideally twice or three times.
Read
aloud: if
your sentences are long and tortured, you’ll find out when you try and say
them.
Be honest: is this really your
best draft, or just the one you’ve done to get it off your to-do list?
Take the ‘mum’ test: if your mum read this, would she understand what it’s
about? This is particularly relevant to technical topics – does it sound like a
TED talk, or a textbook?
Ask
questions: if
you don’t understand the content, you need to push your topic expert until you
do. Bust their jargon and unpack their robot-speak until you know what every
word means, and can translate and explain each one.
Exercise : Eliminating Wordiness Exercise 1
2. Although Bradley Hall is regularly populated by
students, close study of the building as a structure is seldom undertaken by
them.
Bradley Hall is usually filled with
students who do not study the building as a structure.
3. He
dropped out of school on account of the fact that it
was necessary for him to help support his family.
He dropped out of school to support his family.
4. It is expected that the new schedule will be announced
by the bus company within the next few days.
The bus company will probably announce its
schedule during the next few days.
5. There are many ways in which a student who is
interested in meeting foreign students may come to know one.
Any student who wants to meet foreign students
can do so in many ways.
6. It is very unusual to find someone who has never told
a deliberate lie on purpose.
Rarely will you find someone who has never told a
deliberate lie.
7. Trouble
is caused when people disobey rules that have been
established for the safety of all.
Disobeying safety regulations causes trouble.
8. A
campus rally was attended by more than a thousand students. Five students were
arrested by campus police for disorderly conduct, while several others are
charged by campus administrators with organizing a public meeting without being issued a permit to do so.
Five out of more than a thousand students at a
campus rally were arrested for disorderly conduct, and several others were
charged by campus administrators with organizing a public meeting without a
permit.
9. The
subjects that are considered most important by students are those that have
been shown to be useful to them after graduation.
Students think that the most important subjects
are those that will be useful after graduation.
10. In the
not too distant future, college freshmen must all
become aware of the fact that there is a need for them to make contact
with an academic adviser concerning the matter of a major.
Soon college freshmen must realize that they need
to contact their advisors about their choices of majors.
11. In our company there are
wide-open opportunities for professional growth with a company that enjoys an enviable record for stability in the
dynamic atmosphere of aerospace technology.
Our company provides opportunities for
professional growth and stability in the dynamic field of aerospace technology.
12. Some
people believe in capital punishment, while other people are against it; there
are many opinions on this subject.
There are people who are for and people who are against
capital punishment. Note There are is passive voice.
